She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Help. Why am I so naked?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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