The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
