Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
