i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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