You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
