the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
