mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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