Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
