It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
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This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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