Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
In America we eat man semen.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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