She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
