Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
