Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
