we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
