Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
