I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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