So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
