Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
