I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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