he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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