yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
