Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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