i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
