I just threw up on my dentist
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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