Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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