I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize