I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
