Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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