Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?

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  (312): you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were? http://tfl.nu/ge77
  Replies (40) Good night (616) Bad night (3230)
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  (752): View more from California

  i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt

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  (752): i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt http://tfl.nu/4czo
  Replies (50) Good night (6067) Bad night (945)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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  (806): Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients http://tfl.nu/si73
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (2816)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

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  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (61) Good night (18910) Bad night (1904)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And to think..we used to do everything sober...

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  (724): And to think..we used to do everything sober... http://tfl.nu/tbey
  Replies (7) Good night (4795) Bad night (892)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.

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  (614): Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning. http://tfl.nu/meuz
  Replies (11) Good night (2138) Bad night (1012)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling

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  (443): No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling http://tfl.nu/429d
  Replies (5) Good night (1083) Bad night (2286)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

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  (410): I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house http://tfl.nu/84we
  Replies (5) Good night (1733) Bad night (792)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he's gonorrhea incarnate

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  (201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (1328)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?

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  (832): I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal? http://tfl.nu/mk58
  Replies (7) Good night (990) Bad night (408)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy

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  (410): those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy http://tfl.nu/avdc
  Replies (2) Good night (903) Bad night (315)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...

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  (402): Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem... http://tfl.nu/aasf
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (281)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.

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  (479): He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes. http://tfl.nu/8po9
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (231)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.

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  (828): I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me. http://tfl.nu/bode
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (433)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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  (908): My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER. http://tfl.nu/023o
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (251)

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