Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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  (847): I'm at derby! (847): The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time. http://tfl.nu/hrlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1542) Bad night (636)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  mom cant say that college never taught us math

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  (337): if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning? (1-337): 4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds (337): mom cant say that college never taught us math http://tfl.nu/a37s
  Replies (41) Good night (4414) Bad night (697)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

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  (301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb
  Replies (20) Good night (3751) Bad night (567)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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  (859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4
  Replies (44) Good night (1021) Bad night (8311)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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  (604): Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating. http://tfl.nu/sjit
  Replies (35) Good night (13828) Bad night (1262)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way

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  (786): He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way http://tfl.nu/nq2f
  Replies (26) Good night (5786) Bad night (1691)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4797) Bad night (1368)
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  (562): View more from California

  So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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  (562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm
  Replies (17) Good night (5617) Bad night (1131)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5727) Bad night (1791)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.

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  (425): She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why. http://tfl.nu/ircc
  Replies (6) Good night (1751) Bad night (1108)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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  (561): 6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time http://tfl.nu/83id
  Replies (5) Good night (1379) Bad night (544)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.

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  (734): This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving. http://tfl.nu/sgt2
  Replies (4) Good night (425) Bad night (549)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.

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  (802): I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises. http://tfl.nu/ux2t
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (387)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.

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  (+44): Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high. http://tfl.nu/gz43
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (289)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.

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  (250): I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start. http://tfl.nu/pmse
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (132)

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