Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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