Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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  (918): Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted. (918): And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail. http://tfl.nu/06cg
  Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (1610)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.

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  (508): i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet. http://tfl.nu/0i59
  Replies (18) Good night (2181) Bad night (2727)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.

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  (402): The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey. http://tfl.nu/ja6h
  Replies (46) Good night (11166) Bad night (769)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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  (204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb
  Replies (9) Good night (1451) Bad night (4360)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.

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  (631): I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary. http://tfl.nu/rbbj
  Replies (19) Good night (4487) Bad night (1059)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

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  (206): At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall? http://tfl.nu/7soh
  Replies (11) Good night (2962) Bad night (1119)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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  (423): Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this. http://tfl.nu/rnqg
  Replies (12) Good night (2810) Bad night (768)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

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  (307): they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/a8sv
  Replies (7) Good night (1734) Bad night (892)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad

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  (850): I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad http://tfl.nu/g5mj
  Replies (8) Good night (2003) Bad night (963)
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  (510): View more from California

  I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard

  (1-510): View more from California

  Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.

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  (510): I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard (1-510): Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening. http://tfl.nu/lvw9
  Replies (5) Good night (2434) Bad night (756)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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  (573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (1201)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS

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  (262): I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS http://tfl.nu/9hqo
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (487)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  you have the best friends

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  (512): they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze (1-512): you have the best friends http://tfl.nu/c4bj
  Replies (4) Good night (2589) Bad night (468)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle

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  (832): I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle http://tfl.nu/p7zs
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (244)
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  (714): View more from California

  I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.

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  (714): I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too. http://tfl.nu/il0e
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (224)

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