I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys