The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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