Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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