I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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