dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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