Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
