Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just forgot I was standing up.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
