a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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