I think my fart just growled at me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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