: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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