This girl is more easily done than said...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
