You made me cry and you don't even care
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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