history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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