she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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