Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
