um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
