my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize