This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
