she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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