perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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