haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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