I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
