If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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