this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
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You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize