We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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