My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
