you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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