i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
