Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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