I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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