I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
