I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
