guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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