when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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