hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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