Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
