are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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