hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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