Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
